


Scream For My Ice Cream

by LadyLokiLaufeyson



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Crack, Emo Kylo Ren, Humor, M/M, Poor Hux
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-13
Updated: 2016-04-13
Packaged: 2018-06-02 01:36:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6545158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyLokiLaufeyson/pseuds/LadyLokiLaufeyson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Actual emo kid Kyle Ron tries to seduce General Hux through scene lyrics aboard the Finalizer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scream For My Ice Cream

**Author's Note:**

> So the Mike Wazowski Rabb.it Squad suggested I write a crackfic based off the BOTDF song [Scream For My Ice Cream](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DYqxbE67Fk)...so here it is...the perfect monster.

It was a normal day aboard the Finalizer: Hux had just approved some construction plans and was coming back from his routine check in with Phasma when he was stopped in the hall by none other than Kylo Ren himself.

 

Hux internally sighed and prepared for whatever scathing remark Kylo had for him today. Hux would bite something back and they’d both stomp away, angry, per usual.

 

But today there was no scathing remark from Kylo; it seemed he had a different idea.

 

“Scream for my ice cream,” Kylo said, in his ridiculous distorted voice.

 

“What.” Hux said

 

“Tell me all your dirty dreams,” Kylo continued.

 

“What the fuck Ren,” Hux said, somehow frowning even deeper than usual.

 

“Show me what’s in your fantasies,” Kylo said, mystically waving a hand around like he was going to use one of his Force tricks.

 

“If you use one of your mind games on me I’m telling Snoke,” Hux warned.

 

“Let’s get this party started,” Kylo said, moving closer to Hux, who automatically took a step back.

 

“Don’t you have some people to murder or something?” Hux said, annoyed.

 

“Move your body, super sweet, always like an ice cream treat,” Kylo continued his bizarre tangent. 

 

“Okay, Ren, I’ve just about had enough of this,” Hux said frustratedly.

 

“Got a monster in my pants, and if I ever get the chance - gonna cram it down your throat, watch you gasp for air and choke,” Kylo said, the words blurring together under his mask.

 

“REN WHAT THE FUCK,” Hux yelled, realizing where Kylo had been taking this conversation since the beginning.

 

“You can taste my ice cream, we can be a sweet team,” Kylo said, ignoring Hux’s outburst.

 

Hux thought of slapping Ren, but reconsidered when he took into account how much his hand would probably hurt if he smacked that stupid mask.

 

“Okay, that’s enough, out of my way Ren,” Hux said angrily, pushing past Kylo.

 

Kylo grabbed his arm but Hux shrugged out of his grasp and stomped down the hall. He heard Kylo let out one last pitiful “Scream for my ice cream,” as he left.

 

When Hux rounded the corner and disappeared, Kylo sighed and pulled a holopad out of his cloak. Opening his notes up, he crossed off _‘seduction through music’_ on his _‘Ways to get the Succ From General Hux’_ list.

 

Before putting his holopad away, he turned some music on, hoping it’d distract him from his epic fail with Hux. Kylo then sauntered away, Blood on the Dancefloor’s music blasting directly into his helmet.

 


End file.
